The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem; Speaking Up In A Disrespectful Workplace

In his book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden shares the following:

A woman is at a cocktail party where she hears someone make an ugly racial slur that causes her inwardly to cringe. She wants to say, "I found that offensive." She knows that evil gathers momentum by being uncontested. But she is afraid of evoking disapproval. In embarrassment she looks away and says nothing. Later, to appease her sense of uneasiness, she tells herself, "What difference does it make? The man was a fool." But her self-esteem knows what difference it makes.

The above exchange could have easily taken place in the workplace. And the comment doesn't have to be racist to make us feel uncomfortable or to 'inwardly cringe.' When we don't speak up or allow fear of disapproval or embarrassment to stop us from speaking up, we are allowing these attitudes and behaviors to thrive.

When you hear a disrespectful comment or joke, you have a choice. Reinforce it by laughing or joining in. Tolerate it by saying nothing, which is what most people do. Or learn the skills to speak up and become an ally, the hardest thing of all.

Want to try it? Try Ouch! That Stereotype Hurts and Ouch! Your Silence Hurts. Both motivate and empower bystanders to use their voice to speak up for respect on behalf of someone else.